3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
