Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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