just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
