you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
