Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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