I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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