If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
