dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
