Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
