Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
