butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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