if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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