just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
