Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have fence marks all over my body
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
