And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
