puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
