the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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