he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
