soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
