So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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