A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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