Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
