She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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