3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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