I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You made out with two different species that night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
