Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
