Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sext me about skeletons
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
