I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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