gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
