I'm really into asian looking animals
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
