she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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