I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i came on her dog
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
