White coat. Heels.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
