i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
