I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
