I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
