Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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