You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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