If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
