yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
