More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
