Don't you send me to vm
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
