I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
