True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
