hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
