If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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