THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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