My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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