why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
