Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
